Tuesday, April 28, 2020

The finish, V, W, X,Y, AND Z - Emotional Feelings


We Carry Negatives.

These stories listed in TheStoryRealm because of an astonishing book that entered my life when I was very sick and had to change my expectation for myself, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, by Debbie Ford, published in 1998. The book handed to me by my best friend, Janet, we did professional gardening for eight years. I have known Janet since the late ’70s. I was an in-house child-care provider (pre-school for ages 2 to 5) with my children and about 30 others, and Janet ran an after school daycare.

 As far as I can tell, most knowledge about who we are and who we become is not the same for all. The experiences we have and the attitude given to us and what we carry are the successful or impaired thought our lives. How one handles burdens offered given to us by parents, schools, and especially society norms affects what we think we can accomplish.

Knowing and understanding emotional attitudes in our vast world passed to us as girls, maiden, matron, or crones —> these feelings, beliefs, emotions can be gifts with positive results.

HOPE is the emotion offer through these folktales about women as servers, who enlighten our progress as a healthy, rational, and successfully individual. I’m talking about personal attitudes that extend an abundance of peace and prosperity of the mind.

The woman featured in these folktales used skills to succeed in life. As a woman, I may and can use all of these skills in my goals and journeys into male-dominated literature, news, government, justice system, I have value.



 Negatives Have the Positives Hidden.

-->First, is to admit negative feeling has a positive emotion wrapped. What I mean is, with great fear is enduring courage, with laziness is ambition. So when I looked at my feelings that I had charted, there were 104 negatives, which mean I held 104 positives, the opposite effect, actually to ensure balancing.

— > Second is to notice when you look at the charts of emotions, they appeared like an onion, which grows in rounds, For each emotion charted, there are about 10 or 15 that group together. These peeked into a triangle, and inside the layer of the circle leaves wait push from the top, just like an onion set in the earth, leaves force from the top with new growth. These leaves can be positive or negative. As feminists, we can change the negative that might grow in how we think as she.

—> Third, when a set of negatives are cleared, the next one comes, and again with the negative and positives, we grew another onion into another triangle with leaves pushing the growth. Each triangle set afire by a task:  writing, artist, health, money, success, parents, friends, family, mothering, victim, oppressed or growing positive for balancing a whole being.



The Stink Onion Grew in my Yard.

When Janet I did the gardening, one of our observations was that each client grew their own weeds and that weed prospered in the gardens. Each client had different weeds even though they lived next door to each other. A negative emotion attaches and becomes real in our physical world. Maybe the client was throwing the plants off. We also noticed that flowers can be planted by clients.

My concern was that I was throw off a weed in my garden. 

Yes, I did; I discovered the stink onions.

The stink onion spreads by small bulbs in the ground and seeds on top, dropping to the ground, an obsessive dominate weed. The leaves stink. The onions grew among the roses and along my path coming into my house. I was horrified.
Although the onion’s flowers smell sweet and form seeds resembling pearls, the seeds are associated with tears, regrets by the decisions made, to irrigate in the eye, which demanded to clear for better vision.

"If only, I thought … clearly"
"Were it not that … impossible"
"But … I should have … known"
"The male so dominate."
"Redoing this will be … painful"

I hated myself, I let this happen, I planted the onions, I criticize my writing and art because I was not a male, man, or lad guarantee a spotlight. I spread these onions around in other gardens. I am a tool of abuse spreading the burdensome, laborious, troublesome, tedious onions, which showed no remorse, guilt, blame, doubts, and required pulling and digging, again and again, year after year. Hard work with constant watching, enormous demands on me. I had planted the onions for a long time, which caused severe hardship for the rest of my garden.

With patience, carefulness, and persistence, I dug up the roots and stopped the spread of seeds into mine and other gardens.



I Glared at FEAR.

I read Debbie Ford’s book again and again and found I could make a chart about the attitudes that came up for me. I have chartered 04, sounds like a lot, and it is.  I used my opinions and the ones I saw projected between my friends or at group meetings.

I came from the working class with a negative attitude that life is a struggle with work and more work constant struggling with no hope. My working negative passed from generation to generation.

Fear was the worst of the negatives. I asked that the negative to appear as Debbie suggested,  a personification of the negative attitude to face, observe, and question. Fear was an ugly aged bum that slobbered, dirty, and glared into my eyes. At a cattle auction when I was five, his friend offered candy, and this man grabbed me in front of all the people passing bye. My mom saved me. I sat in the car, the old man smile, he had won. My voice was stopped, I could not be seen on stage. Now, I sat across from the bum at an outside cafe. I stared and asked this analogizing memory, “What do you have to offer?” He glared. I asked, “What is your positive gift that I needed.” I was amazed not a word spoken, only I heard COURAGE and STRENGTH to MOVE, NOT TO FREEZE, an answer. I glared at filthy fear while he struggles to lift up to leave with his friend, who waited, both bent, dirty old negatives.

I  made charts about my conversations with other attitudes: Daring Dog, Ole Crone, Angry Adie, Roomer Roma, Craze Jane, Victim Vic, Ugly Herb, Frozen Fred, Numb Nellie, Ailing Allen, Sad Sue, Sloppy Sofie, Dull Doug, Leech Lee, to name a few.  Negatives are predators of prejudices, attitudes, opinions, horrors, who cover the positives.

Here is my chart — Face your negative.




First --> to see and feel an emotion filling the room:  fear, joy, revenge, hate, anger, love (I hate you!). Next, the projection of attitudes from people: struggle, negativism, fearfulness, unloved, fulfillment, peacefulness, blindness, humorous, selfish, etc., which float around in a room mixing.

Second --> these beliefs (good or bad) are learned before we are three. At that age, one has very little to remember and lots to learn, especially attitudes and opinions, and this learning is enormous because of the lack of experience in the three-year-old mind. Then at all ages, this learned attitude or position of the three-year-old becomes dominant. Then child, youth, adult, prove these attitudes or opinions are correct through all the experiences lived. As people, we use and think these attitudes are real, proper, right, made the truth, as told by storytellers in traditional folktales. When I was a child, men wrote these stories and offer the attitude of that time.

The destruction of clear thinking, negative attitudes, or opinions is a wall in the road of seeing what is really here and correct for us.

Third --> with many, many experiences the three-year-old’s magnified grip on a negative emotional will relax. My worst attitude was 'I WAS SECOND TO A HE, THE OWNER.' NOT FROM MY DAD AS FAIR AS HE WAS TO ME; THIS ATTITUDE CAME FROM MY MOTHER. Her brothers went to high school; like her, she went off to work at age 14. Positive emotional feelings and attitudes helped me change this limited vision of the world into possibilities and better opportunities.

NOW, I ventured into my life;  seeing, smelling, observing, tasting, and touching, reacting to the positives going around. 

I am me.
He is him.
Mine is not his.
We live in balance.


I say to all he, she, his, her, this is us, ours.

—> Get out of the BOX:  observe, wonder, marvel at the balance we have with the feminine.

—> Get out of the three-year-old’s picture and attitudes, start accepting good, strong 
emotional feelings of gender to decide what you want that is best for your child, youth, and adult, a must for others, also!

--> I work every day to be a feminist to encourage girls, maiden, matrons, and crones; we have, we own, and so happen. WE, the genders together, must change the language and rib ourselves of dominating he, inside words for hers.  We are balanced we, us, ours, individuals, each a being,

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